I'm Jillian and I am 15 years old

I am in love with books and writing and music and life

You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.

—    Richard Branson (via maxkirin)

I know you hate when they use cliches to fix you.
When they say just move on when the bad boy who you thought will love you, broke your heart.
When they tell you calm down when you are angry and bitter towards the world that you could create an earthquake.
When tell you you’re beautiful but that boy you fancied just left you for another prettier girl.
When they say it gets better and you are ready to destroy yourself cause nothing numbs your pain; no cigarette, no cup of coffee.
When they tell you stay strong but you feel so damn weak because you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.

But sometimes all you need is a cliche:

Move on when the jerk broke your heart, out there is a boy dying to have you.
Scream, shout and destroy everything around you but calm yourself down and forgive the world one more time.
Yes, she might prettier, but does she have an universe inside of her like you have? Will she write him a poem like your? No.
It gets better, no matter how crushed you are. The sun. the moon and the stars shine only for you. Don’t give up, tomorrow you will smile.
You have the right to fall but get up and lift the world with you. And they will bow for you.

—    I Believe In Cliches by Royla Asghar (via poems-of-madness)


These, for me, are the two most depressing paintings in western history. They were painted by post-impressionist Henry de Toulouse-Lautrec, a man who, due to inbreeding, was born with a genetic disorder that prevented his legs from growing after they were broken. After being so thoroughly mocked for is appearance, he became an alcoholic, which is what eventually caused his institutionalization and death. His only known romantic relations were with prostitutes.

And then he paints something like this which is so beautiful and tender and sentimental. It seems like the couple in bed really loves each other—cares about each other. Wakes up happy to look at each other. And I see that love and passion and I wonder how lonely he must have been. I wonder how he could paint something like this without it breaking his heart. 

Maybe they say artists should create what they know, not because its unbelievable when they extend themselves beyond their experiences, but because when they pull it off with such elegance, it’s so damn unbearable to look at. I hate thinking of Lautrec, wondering about the lovers he created and knowing it was beyond his experience. Creating something that he knows is beautiful and knows he’ll never really understand. 

(via lovurs)



Dear lovely people, 

I’ve been waiting a while to use this picture to do a little something for you guys, something to thank you guys for being nothing less than wonderful to me. Recently, I hit 40K followers!!!!!!!!!!!! Honestly, I cannot fathom the fact that 40K of you guys are interested in reading what I have to say. Like, that is a huge number. It still seems surreal to me.

Almost a year ago, when I first started posting my work, I would never have guessed that I’d even reach 1,000 or 2,000 friends here. But so many of you guys have reached out to me and I have to say, I have met many great people on here. Words will never be able to express my gratitude and how much it means to me. Thank you for each like, thank you for each reblog, thank you for each follow, thank you for each secret you send in, thank you for sharing your life with me, and thank you for every single message you write to me. Thank you for taking time out of your 24 hours to write me something that makes my day. You guys are what lifts me. When I am having a bad day or whenever I think about giving up on writing, you guys inspire me and give me hope to continue. You are my wings. And I will never be able to repay you for that! Thank you for loving me.

I love you all so much, each and every single one of you. I want to show a little of how much I appreciate you so I hope this small giveaway will suffice, even just a little bit.

I finally figured out what I would like to send to you guys. After reading all of your suggestions, these are the most requested and named ideas! I will have one winner that will receive:

  • A handwritten poem (tell me your favourite poem, whether it’s mine or someone else’s) I’ll try to make it worth a place in your room, with a frame and doodle haha
  • Some of my favorite pens to write with (Muji pens and sharpie pens)
  • Moleskin journal
  • An inspiration fun book such as Wreck This Journal, Unplug Every Day, The Happiness Book, One Good Deed A Day, and etc. (You get to pick one!)
  • Some post cards
  • Mug for those late nights you stay up while writing and thinking too much
  • Some of my favorite teas
  • One of my favourite novels! (Depending on the person who wins, I will try to send them a novel that I think they will enjoy the most)
  • Bookmarks!
  • And little extra snacks and cute things I find hehe

Aside from this winner, I also want to send six other lovely people so I can send them a thank you letter.

Finally, here are the rules and guidelines:

  • This giveaway is a big thank you to my followers, only
  • Only reblogs will count as entries
  • Must feel comfortable enough to give me your home address, email, and some general information about yourself (self-explanatory)
  • Opened internationally!
  • Winner will be picked on September 21st, 2014 12PM Eastern Time
  • Ask box must be opened. I will contact you through there. If I do not receive a reply within three days, I will have to pick someone else.
  • And if you do win, post of a photograph when you receive the package please! :)

The winners will be picked through a random online generator. Good luck my lovely friends! I hope to write to some of y’all soon. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask :)